Forgiveness – Binder of Thoughts

It’s been quite sometime since I’ve written on this blog. I’ve got several other blogs. Most I’m not really a regular writer on and some I haven’t even stood up yet. Recently, in a symbolic way, I crossed something called the Line of Departure with my family. In some ways regretfully and in some ways it was an unfortunate necessity.

What exactly is The Line of Departure. In the Marine Corps or in the Military no less, The Line of Departure is defined as a line in which units of military force are ordered to cross at a certain time to coordinate an attack. In short, when they cross that line there is no coming back. They’re headed into battle.

Due to a situation in my family, right or wrong, there has been a lack of trust and a lack of communication. Everyone is busy in their lives, everyone has their own issues, conflicts, emotions, scheduling conflicts, life conflicts etc. All normal family problems.

Due to these conflicts and issues, in my world, the ultimate sin happened by a loved one in my family. Put simply, they yelled at my wife and made her cry. So what does this have to do with The Line of Departure. As this war of words took place and I heard my wife cry, I was in shock and was in the planning stage to travel past “The Line of Departure”. Right or wrong, I was planning my response. Right or wrong, my written response to all of my family was absolutely brutal. My intent was to make my response unforgettable and I achieved my objective.

I read my response to my wife, hurt and in tears while snot was literally dripping out of my nose. I cried on while reading my words of pain. I only cry when someone dies and in my mind and in my heart, it had felt as if someone had died. My wife apparently had already received apologies that morning but to me, it didn’t matter. I had written my response and I was prepared to send letters to my family in the mail. My wife told me to think very carefully before sending my family anything. Since I have mailed physical letters in the past and received not even an acknowledgement, I decided to email my response to ensure everyone received it, received it immediately and received it at the same time. When I pressed SEND in email, I truly crossed The Line of Departure. There was no coming back. The fallout was nuclear. This brings me to my blog and the past entries that I have written.

86,400 Seconds in a Day

Am I actually following my own thoughts on the amount of seconds in a day and how I spend them?

WWJD- What Would Jesus Do?

Am I actually doing what Jesus would do?

PSA-Do Something Good Today!

Am I doing anything good today?

Forgiveness

Oh this is the tough one. Am I to forgive? Is forgiveness going to be that hard to give? Am I going to be able to put this behind me and forget this happened?

Plato- The 4 Virtues

Did I follow Plato’s simple 4 Virtues as I struck back at my family? Am I going to be able to follow them in the future? Am I going to be able to be an example of the 4 virtues as I navigate this situation.

Anxiety

As I deal with the anxiety of this situation, will I be able to listen to the words in Matthew? Will I be able to find other words in the Bible that will bring me peace so I can get these problems resolved?

I’m a good dude. I’ll get it figured out.

Forgiveness is such a tricky subject and by far I am no expert. To me, forgiveness is freedom. Freedom from the angst and pain that is inflicted on you by another individual. There are many instances where I have forgiven people for doing wrong, however they continue to make poor decisions or exemplify their own insecurities or character weaknesses. Yes, I judge people, yet I have my own insecurities and character weaknesses. It is one of the great fallibilities of humanity and one of the greatest ironies of our own imperfections. We judge other people’s faults, yet we are consistently broken and faulty.

An interesting situation that I have come upon is I harmed a close friend who I would consider a brother. I harmed my brother over trivial matters, disagreements and in today’s world, politics. We all know todays politics are polarizing however these types of disagreements should never end friendships. In addition, I made some judgements about his character that were out of line. To make things even worse, this friend came to visit me in the hospital during a significant injury yet when he was severely injured I was not able to visit him for one reason or another. The reason I was not able to visit was probably because of my own injury, I don’t recall.

After some deep thought and recognizing my trespass I decided to write my friend a letter. In my letter I outlined my mistakes and asked him for forgiveness. In fact, I pleaded for his forgiveness. After some time, I never heard a response. After a polarizing event at his place of employment I briefly reached out via a text message to ensure he was ok. He informed he was ok and said that he was planning to write me back, however he never wrote me back.

This is where forgiveness gets tricky. I pleaded for his forgiveness in a letter and never received a response. Now I must do the forgiving and frankly I don’t know the next step is in this process. Do I call, do I write, do I just forgive and forget anonymously or perhaps send my friend a letter of forgiveness in another letter? For me, this is no power of wills. Who is going to reach out first? I don’t get involved with stubborn behavior. Imagine if one of us died? How would the other feel if we went to the others funeral. It would be unimaginable. I look forward to some commentary below.

Take good care…..