Category: Thoughts

The Line of Departure

It’s been quite sometime since I’ve written on this blog. I’ve got several other blogs. Most I’m not really a regular writer on and some I haven’t even stood up yet. Recently, in a symbolic way, I crossed something called the Line of Departure with my family.  In some ways regretfully and in some ways it was an unfortunate necessity.

What exactly is The Line of Departure. In the Marine Corps or in the Military no less, The Line of Departure is defined as a line in which units of military force are ordered to cross at a certain time to coordinate an attack. In short, when they cross that line there is no coming back. They’re headed into battle.

Due to a situation in my family, right or wrong, there has been a lack of trust and a lack of communication. Everyone is busy in their lives, everyone has their own issues, conflicts, emotions, scheduling conflicts, life conflicts etc. All normal family problems.

Due to these conflicts and issues, in my world, the ultimate sin happened by a loved one in my family. Put simply, they yelled at my wife and made her cry. So what does this have to do with The Line of Departure. As this war of words took place and I heard my wife cry, I was in shock and was in the planning stage to travel past “The Line of Departure”. Right or wrong, I was planning my response. Right or wrong, my written response to all of my family was absolutely brutal. My intent was to make my response unforgettable and I achieved my objective.

I read my response to my wife, hurt and in tears while snot was literally dripping out of my nose. I cried on while reading my words of pain. I only cry when someone dies and in my mind and in my heart, it had felt as if someone had died. My wife apparently had already received apologies that morning but to me, it didn’t matter. I had written my response and I was prepared to send letters to my family in the mail. My wife told me to think very carefully before sending my family anything. Since I have mailed physical letters in the past and received not even an acknowledgement, I decided to email my response to ensure everyone received it, received it immediately and received it at the same time. When I pressed SEND in email, I truly crossed The Line of Departure. There was no coming back. The fallout was nuclear. This brings me to my blog and the past entries that I have written.

86,400 Seconds in a Day

Am I actually following my own thoughts on the amount of seconds in a day and how I spend them?

WWJD- What Would Jesus Do?

Am I actually doing what Jesus would do?

PSA-Do Something Good Today!

Am I doing anything good today?

Forgiveness

Oh this is the tough one. Am I to forgive? Is forgiveness going to be that hard to give? Am I going to be able to put this behind me and forget this happened?

Plato- The 4 Virtues

Did I follow Plato’s simple 4 Virtues as I struck back at my family? Am I going to be able to follow them in the future? Am I going to be able to be an example of the 4 virtues as I navigate this situation.

Anxiety

As I deal with the anxiety of this situation, will I be able to listen to the words in Matthew? Will I be able to find other words in the Bible that will bring me peace so I can get these problems resolved?

I’m a good dude. I’ll get it figured out.

 

 

86,400 seconds in a day

There are 86,400 seconds in a day. We all have the same number of seconds. Where will you choose to spend your seconds and how will you impact someone else’s life. Even the little tiny things can make a big difference. Make a positive difference in someone’s day.

Dam

I took my elderly father to visit Hoover dam. It was a great trip. I certainly hope I made good use of my 86,400 seconds.

Take good care!

Racism Today, I don’t get it!

First, I’m a white guy, born late in 1972. 

I grew up in Silver Spring Maryland which was and is a very racially diverse area. Silver Spring is pretty close to Washington, D.C. I initially went to Brookhaven Elementary, then to E. Brooke Lee Jr. High School and then off to Sherwood High School. 

Looking back Brookhaven Elementary was racially diverse but not quite as racially diverse as E. Brooke Lee. If I had to guess (hopefully I’m using the correct terminology) E. Brooke Lee was probably 60% White and the other people were a mix of Black and Hispanic. In that 60% of White people there was a large percentage of Jewish people. I’m not sure exactly, but I would say a larger percent of Jewish people than most other places. E. Brooke Lee appeared to have “some” racial problems however it was pretty much under control. I did get in several fights at E. Brooke Lee and some seemed racially motivated towards me. I didn’t mind and never really thought much about it as I just thought this was school. It’s not like it was the ghetto however in hindsight there were many people from low income neighborhoods.  E. Brooke Lee was a tough school however I just thought fights were normal. It wasn’t really that bad, it was just a part of life. I do recall having a good friend named Carlos. Carlos was a Hispanic guy, spoke perfect English, had curly black hair and one of those dirty black mustaches that was basically peach fuzz. Carlos was from a different neighborhood than mine. I’m not sure where he lived. We did exchange phone numbers to see if he could spend the night at my house however we were never able to get that arranged. One day, Carlos didn’t show back up to school. He just never came back. In hindsight, I bet Carlos’s family was here in the United States and got deported. Who really knows? Maybe I’m just relating Carlos to the current issues that are happening in the United States. I think about Carlos from time to time and wonder what happened to him. I should look in my yearbook, get his last name and see if I can find him on Facebook. It would be cool to catch up. One of my great friends Jamal from my neighborhood taught me how to breakdance. Today, I’m still a pretty good break-dancer. At 46 years old I can still break it down funky style; as I call it in my old age. Jamal‘s Dad used to drive this purple Volkswagen Bug that had flecks in the paint. Somehow his family of 4 would fit in that thing. Jamal used to tell us that his Dad was going to get a Cadillac that talked! It would say, “Your door is ajar”. My friend Richard and I would laugh and say, “There is no way you are getting a Cadillac that talks!”. Sure enough, Jamal’s family got a Cadillac that talks and then moved up and out of the neighborhood. I lost contact with Jamal but reconnected later in life only to disagree about race relations.

After E. Brooke Lee I went to Sherwood High School in Olney, Maryland. Sherwood was not really racially diverse however I would say it was 80 percent White. In my memory I wouldn’t say that there was any racism in the school. I don’t recall any racially motivated fights; I don’t recall the school being bad per say. I would say that everyone blended in pretty nicely. Olney was definitely a middle to upper middle-class area. It still is. I think perhaps this is my own problem. I probably lived from 9th grade to 12th grade in a cocoon. There were no racial issues and certainly no perceived racial issues from my point of view.  Even one of my black friends from high school that I have spoken to has said we lived in an area where we were primarily isolated from racism. Perhaps we lived in racial utopia?  During high school I even had a band and my singer was black. I just looked at him as a person. I never thought of him as anything else but a person. Was I naïve? Did he look at me differently? Who knows, I have never gone back to ask him. 

After high school I joined the Marine Corps. Although not the current policy of the Marine Corps, in 1992 at Recruit Training, Paris Island, South Carolina (Boot Camp) we were taught there is no color. We are all the same. We are Green. There is Dark Green and Light Green. In other words, everyone is just the same. I felt good about this and I embraced it. Additionally, I thought everyone, all the new Marines embraced this same ethos. In my next phase of training I went to Marine Combat Training or, MCT. This is where I got my first real dose of straight in your face racism. In the field I had a young black man (from Mississippi) tell me to my face that he hated white people. I never understood. He was supposed to have adopted this value system of the Marine Corps that we’re all the same. At night, “The Soul Patrol” would go around beating on skinny White guys to intimidate them. I was in shock! I would drag the “Soul Patrol” off some kid and ensure no one would get hurt and let them know that I would not tolerate what was going on. Marine Combat Training lasted for about a month and culminated in a field exercise that lasted about a week. Just prior to the end, our platoon leaders caught wind that there were racial problems in the platoon. Our platoon Sergeant, Sgt Lyons was Black and the Corporal, I don’t recall his name was Hispanic. The day before graduation in the squad bay, Sgt Lyons and the Corporal lined us up and began saying that they heard there was a race problem in the platoon. They began yelling and saying what a disgrace it was. They said whoever had a problem with it, to take one step forward. I gladly took one step forward. At that moment, Sgt Lyons screamed to get into his office. 

I walked into Sgt Lyons office and he was standing behind his desk. At that moment he flipped one of those very large heavy government metal desks over in my direction as I calmly walked in. He got straight up in my face with the Corporal and begin screaming in my face “Do you have a problem with my color?”, “Do you hate my skin color?”, on and on and on. I calmly just continued to say, “No Sgt”, “No Sgt”. There was no need to yell. Sgt Lyons then asked, “Well what are you doing in here?”. I explained to the two platoon leaders that I had joined the Marine Corps and had embraced the ethos that as Marines we are all the same. I embraced this idea that we were taught that we were all Green. Then I get to Marine Combat Training and I find “The Soul Patrol” beating on skinny White kids. In short, I explained that I did not want to spend the next 4 years of my life dealing with racial problems. Later the Corporal explained to me that we are all brothers and that in the Fleet Marine Force we will not experience these types of problems. 

After Marine Combat Training and the School of Infantry I eventually went to the Fleet Marine Force. My unit was far from diverse. It was primarily White. We had maybe 4 or 5 Black people out of maybe 30 people. We also had a few Hispanics, a Native American, and a person from India. My unfortunate first encounter with racism in my platoon was against my Black friend. I’m not going to name names because I still talk to them and I don’t want to identify them. We were at 29 Palms in the desert of California training. We were staying in something called A-frames which is pictured below.

AFrame

The floor was sand and we slept in sleeping bags on cots. When we were not specifically training in the desert and had time off at night, we would spend our time at a place called the Warrior Club. Marines would do what they love to do during their time off which is drink. In fact, one night at the Warrior club, in the middle of the California desert, the Marines got so drunk they ended up getting into a massive brawl that was so big the MP’s had to come and break it up. Luckily, I wasn’t there for that one.  

Here is the sad story of racism within my platoon. One guy, who I was never fond of was sleeping next to my black friend. We were all pretty drunk, it was probably after 1am and the guy I was not fond of started whispering nigger. He just kept saying nigger trying to mess with my black friend. All of a sudden, my black friend unzipped his sleeping bag really quickly, ran over to the guy doing the whispering and began trying to beat the hell out of him. Once the fight broke out the lights in the A-frame turned on and everyone ran over to the two Marines fighting and we began breaking the fight apart. I’ll never forget this incident and I’ll also never understand why people have to be racist, ignorant and just plain assholes. I was not brought up this way, it’s not productive and it just doesn’t make any sense! Why hate? Or if you’re not hating, why be an asshole? 

The next time we had an issue in my platoon I was not actually present however the story has a bit of a twist and it is a bit legendary. My platoon was at Guantanamo Bay Cuba and we were supporting a mission called Operation Sea Signal. When we were not guarding camps that were filled with Cuban refugees trying get to the United States, we were either drinking or working out. One night at a watering hole called the Barrel Club a fight broke out between the Marines of my platoon and some people in the Army. Of course, the MP’s came and arrested one of the Marines in my platoon. The Marine was taken to the brig and put behind bars. While drunk and behind bars he was screaming racial slurs. The guards at the brig then called our First Sergeant, woke him up and put the phone up to the Marine screaming racial slurs and said this is one of your Marines. As a result, the First Sergeant put the Marine on shit sucking duty for the rest of the time at Guantanamo Bay. Shit sucking was simple. You worked with the trucks that went around sucking the shit out of the porta johns. So, this guy spent about 2 months sucking the garbage every day out of porta johns. At the end of our deployment to Guantanamo Bay, the First Sergeant awarded this Marine some sort of Shit Sucking certificate for a job well done. Although this is kind of a funny story my question is why? Why do we have a drunk Marine yelling racial slurs while in jail. Let’s forget that he is drunk. He obviously learned the racist behavior somewhere. 

Today, I just try and understand. I try and read history, be sensitive and understand perspectives from all people. Not just white people, not just black people, but all people. I do believe the media is a problem. I believe there is paranoia out there. I do believe we have a problem with the police. I do believe movies and music have painted black people as thugs and violent criminals. I do believe people read information that fits their own narrative and blocks their ability to get new perspectives. I do believe people should read books and inspire their own thoughts instead of reading everyone else’s subjective opinions. I also believe social media is causing huge problems and gaps and people are taking advantage of social media to gain power, influence, money and create divide. 

It’s 2019. Haven’t we moved beyond this???

What do you think? 

WWJD- What Would Jesus Do?

Note:  I’m no angel.  Not even close.  I’m not perfect, not even close.  This is not directed at anyone in particular.  Here’s some afternoon thoughts for you and they are my own reflections.

Lots of interesting events are taking place around the globe today.  I look to humanity and in my daily life for optimism.  I heard an interesting experience just a few days ago about a good person.  A person at a café (short condensed version) who upon request, cooked a meal for a homeless man at no charge.  Such a simple act of kindness that impacted a meek, poor life, inspired and gave hope to another (the witness) and upon sharing the story gave people smiles across Facebook.

Regardless of your political, ideological, philosophical, or religious views let’s ask some questions.  Think deeply about this.  Let’s have a discussion.  WWJD?

I don’t even care if you believe in Jesus nor am I here to announce or discuss what I believe.  For those that follow Jesus what exactly would He do?

Would He come upon a cloud of vengeance and burn the world up in flames?  Simple as that?  Done with you people?  Would He pose the white man against the black man and vice versus?  Would He punish one or the other for crimes against each other or crimes against themselves regardless of how any of us see these crimes.  How would He view the politics of today and ask you to vote?  How would He ask you to view your neighbor, and how would He ask you to lift your neighbor up?  If He said follow me and lift your neighbor up would you put down your life and actually listen?  Would you recognize Jesus?  How would He ask you to see the immigration crisis?  How would He ask you to solve it?  Didn’t Moses have an immigration crisis?  How would Jesus ask you to view prostitutes or how would He have you solve the problems of human trafficking?  Didn’t Jesus hang with a prostitute?  Would Jesus have you throw money at all these problems or would He have you take your own precious time and resources to solve these problems.  How would He have you view your own pessimisms, doubts, prejudices and biases?  How would He view YOUR prejudices and biases?  Would He have you running around spreading the “Good News” or would He have you running around spreading the “Bad News” that we see every single day?  How would He have you react to the beggar on the street while you live in a society of consumerism?  How would He react to those that subscribe to the so called “Prosperity Gospel”?  Would He pose women against men in the political arena?  Would He claim a complete failure of our institutions and destroy them all?  Would He ask you to help fix the institutions and would you listen if He asked?  Would Jesus tell you that you can best protect your faith by practicing your faith and by being an example of your faith or by truly defending your faith by the sword as if you were a crusader?  How would He react to your participation in American consumerism and would you let consumerism go if He told you to follow me?  Literally to follow me?  Are you in fact really following him?  Would He draw the battle lines of liberalism and conservatism?  How would He navigate those lines?  How would He view your judgements when you’re not supposed to judge?  Would He see you as a hater of the people of this world of different religions, faiths, colors, creeds and so-called races?  Would he see you as a lover of the “things” of this world?  Would he see you as a person that loves his neighbor and someone that would do for his neighbor?  Would He see you as prejudice?

Would you know Jesus if He stood in front of you?  Would you deny him as He was denied in the Bible?  Is your Jesus the Redeemer or the Destroyer?

What would Jesus really do?  Or what would your Jesus do?  Think about it.

Just some afternoon thoughts.  Note, I’m no judge and no angel.  Just a dude.  Thinking…..

Honduras- Ever Been?

Have any of you been to Honduras? I have. It was sometime after 9/11. I did a little math this morning and based on my daughters age I think it was about 16 years ago.  How time fly’s.

I was working as a contractor for the Federal Government and I was traveling to several different embassies to lay fiber optic cable and do some other odds and ends.  If I recall my wife was pretty dang pregnant and there was a lot going on in our lives.  I was traveling around with a guy named Dickie.  Dickie was an interesting cat for sure.  Dickie was an ‘ol country boy from Virginia who was in his 60’s, had an affinity for alcohol and strippers.  He loved his booze and his women.  Dickie was bald, had a pear shaped body, big ears that stuck out on both sides of his head and was a bit of a stubborn person.  It didn’t take me long while traveling with Dickie to realize he couldn’t handle his alcohol but that’s a whole different story.  God bless you Dickie (and your family) if you are or are not with us any longer.  I’m sure one way or the other Dickie is doing ok.

Dickie and I were bouncing around Central America and one of our destinations was Tegucigalpa, Honduras. Who the heck had ever heard of Tegucigalpa?  I sure hadn’t.  I was just a guy with a cheap United States high school education who most likely didn’t pay a lick of attention during any sort of geography class.  I most likely failed geography miserably to be quite honest.  Anywho.  Ol Dickie and I arrived in Tegucigalpa and the one thing I recall was getting picked up by an armed escort.  It’s been years, but if I remember correctly the agent was carrying an M-4 Carbine, a pistol, was wearing full body armor and arrived in a armored up white Suburban. If you’ve never opened up the door of an armored up Suburban  you’d definitely notice the difference immediately.  It’s no ordinary SUV.  The ballistic glass is extremely thick, the doors are much heavier and the moment you enter the vehicle you have a sense of protection.  I’d imagine those Suburban’s would protect you from most small arms fire up to an AK-47 for a reasonable duration of time.  What reasonable is, well I’m not sure but I’m glad we didn’t get to test it out.

Once Dickie and I met our escort it didn’t take long before we were off to the embassy.  The trip to the embassy is now a blur but we definitely didn’t do any site seeing and went straight there.  As I remember,  we approached the embassy on a relatively small road and the outside was guarded by Honduran nationals.  During our approach the Honduran nationals recognized the vehicle and directed us to make a right turn.  The steel vehicle barriers dropped into the ground, the guard rail lifted in the air and we were in the embassy compound.  It honestly reminded me of something you’d see in a movie. High five to you Hollywood hooyazz….  Tegucigalpa looked like a real movie.

I don’t remember much about the embassy.  What I do remember and what is more important about this post is the poverty in Tegucigalpa, Honduras.  We stayed at a place called the Intercontinental Hotel. I’m sure it has changed over the last 16 years but the one thing I remember was how you had this beautiful hotel in the middle of a poverty stricken area.  Across the street from the hotel was a modern mall with all the fixings that you would expect in the United States.  If I recall we ate at a TGI Friday’s and the one thing that struck me was “how is it in the poorest of countries you have the most beautiful women?”.  I don’t mean that in a disrespectful way but the woman here were gorgeous.  As I explained to my daughter this morning it was almost as if you walked in the mall and you were in the United States and as you stepped outside, looked left and right you saw a third world country.  It was quite odd.

The REAL point of this post is to briefly discuss what is currently taking place in the America’s.  We have this caravan of thousands of refugee’s coming north to the United States.  There are some in the US that would say don’t let them in.  There are others that would say let them stay.  As I understand it these people are fleeing violence, oppression, gang violence and so on.  I believe behind the scenes there is a US political element that is driving this issue.  News sells!  Hell I’m writing about it!   Is each political faction taking advantage of this moment to capture the minds of voters?  In this ever complex world today I believe we need to be more compassionate.  We need to figure out an innovative way to deal with the ever changing face of the United States, the changing world and the ever changing complexities of our immigration policy.  Perhaps we make Guantanamo Bay Cuba the new Ellis Island?  Lets use GITMO (I’ve been to GITMO too)  as a place to properly bring these people into the United States?  We used GITMO in the 90’s to deal with the crisis in Cuba.  Let’s think about this, if your family was struggling in fear, oppression and starvation wouldn’t you travel thousands of miles on foot to go to the promise land?  Any good rational person would say yes.  Let’s figure out an innovative way to help these people.  It’s the 21st century for goodness sakes.  We can put rovers on Mars but we can’t figure out the complexities of a reasonable immigration policy?

What are your thoughts?  How should we handle this?

Take good care….

Plato- The 4 Virtues

Plato identified 4 virtues in his work “The Republic”.  The book is a must read.  One of the most thought provoking books I’ve ever read.  In fact I will probably write a few blog posts just on The Republic.

Do you suppose if people made a deliberate focus on the 4 virtues that Plato identified in his work “The Republic” That the world would be a better place? I sometimes struggle with what appears to be the evil of man. I know by no means I’m perfect. I have certainly made my mistakes and have definitely made my ethical, religious and moral sins but after reading The Republic as well as many other works I ponder the simplicity of these 4 virtues and perhaps our lack of focus on them.

Prudence, Justice, Temperance and Courage.

Prudence is a person’s ability to judge his own actions as appropriate or inappropriate. Justice is the ability to act with fairness and without bias toward others. Temperance is the ability to act with moderation and self-control. Courage refers to emotional strength and a person’s ability to confront his fears. These virtues were later adopted by St. Augustine as the four cardinal virtues of Christianity.

What are your thoughts? Do we, as a global society, have a complete lack of focus on some of the most simple and foundational virtues?

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is such a tricky subject and by far I am no expert. To me, forgiveness is freedom. Freedom from the angst and pain that is inflicted on you by another individual. There are many instances where I have forgiven people for doing wrong, however they continue to make poor decisions or exemplify their own insecurities or character weaknesses. Yes, I judge people, yet I have my own insecurities and character weaknesses. It is one of the great fallibilities of humanity and one of the greatest ironies of our own imperfections. We judge other people’s faults, yet we are consistently broken and faulty.

An interesting situation that I have come upon is I harmed a close friend who I would consider a brother. I harmed my brother over trivial matters, disagreements and in today’s world, politics. We all know todays politics are polarizing however these types of disagreements should never end friendships. In addition, I made some judgements about his character that were out of line. To make things even worse, this friend came to visit me in the hospital during a significant injury yet when he was severely injured I was not able to visit him for one reason or another. The reason I was not able to visit was probably because of my own injury, I don’t recall.

After some deep thought and recognizing my trespass I decided to write my friend a letter. In my letter I outlined my mistakes and asked him for forgiveness. In fact, I pleaded for his forgiveness. After some time, I never heard a response. After a polarizing event at his place of employment I briefly reached out via a text message to ensure he was ok. He informed he was ok and said that he was planning to write me back, however he never wrote me back.

This is where forgiveness gets tricky. I pleaded for his forgiveness in a letter and never received a response. Now I must do the forgiving and frankly I don’t know the next step is in this process. Do I call, do I write, do I just forgive and forget anonymously or perhaps send my friend a letter of forgiveness in another letter? For me, this is no power of wills. Who is going to reach out first? I don’t get involved with stubborn behavior. Imagine if one of us died? How would the other feel if we went to the others funeral. It would be unimaginable. I look forward to some commentary below.

Take good care…..

In Harmony We Trust

Try to take a view of the world as though all things are in harmony.  Through this lens, there is good and there is evil.  There are objects that are beautiful and there are objects that are ugly.  There are ideas and influences that are negative and there are ideas and influences that are positive.  Within this view, all things work in harmony.

Another way to approach this concept is, it is useless to resent the opposite of what your view is as you have little control of the opposite or opposing views or feelings as well as the objects that you find ugly.  Control what is in your control and practice your own free will in thought as well as in action.  No one,  not even the bad can force you to act against your own free will.

Enjoy and take good care…..